Self Perception is a Zoo

 A few days ago I heard a friend of mine give a talk.  She’s the kind of speaker who is so powerful, so bright and so naturally captivating that she could order a sandwich and I’d get all teary-eyed:  “That’s right! No onions! Sing halleluiah!”  So imagine my surprise when she came off stage, plunked herself down next to me and demanded to know how boring her talk was.  I also have drop dead gorgeous friends who think they’re ugly, clients who one moment think they’re god’s gift to the written word and the next need to be talked in off the ledge of self-proclaimed ineptitude and a neighbor who can’t decide if she’s a financial powerhouse or about to cause her family to start living underneath a bridge.

 Self perception is a zoo. 

 We exist between glimpses of our own, infinite power and the fear that we are incapable fatheads.  We torture ourselves incessantly, and for what purpose?  If we can glimpse the glory (and I know you can), why do we waste our precious time on the other junk?  Wouldn’t life be so much more fun, productive and sexy if we fully embraced the fact that we’re capable of doing anything we set our minds to?  If we saw our failures merely as learning opportunities, rather than proof that we are giant sucking things, think how mighty we’d be?

 This is our journey.  And ironically we travel in a circle.  When we first come screaming onto this planet we are whole, in the moment, part of the collective consciousness.  We are oblivious to the concept that we are separate from that around us or that there is a future and a past.  As we grow, we begin to understand our world through our senses and experiences.  And we begin to doubt ourselves through what we’re taught via language – this is why it’s so vitally important that you choose your words and thoughts wisely.  Until someone tells you, you don’t know that you can’t make lots of money or shouldn’t trust strangers or are too fat to be loved.  Words and thoughts create the beliefs that got you where you are today, so if you’d like to be somewhere else, words and thoughts are what will bring about change. 

 I was out at a club one time with a friend and we saw this girl who completely mesmerized us.  She was huge, had a big fat butt, fleshy arms and a loud and proud gut all crammed into this revealing little hoochie mama outfit.  She was having the time of her life and just thought she was the sexiest thing and I will tell you, so did everyone else in that bar.  We couldn’t take our eyes off her (and neither could her sad sack, skinny, gorgeous friend).  That is the kind of person you want to take your cues from, not our twisted media, your fearful parents or your inner Oh Please. 

 When other people achieve the impossible it empowers us to do the same, so go out and find a role model who speaks to you.  Find someone who was too blind, broke, crippled, female, black or whatever by society’s standards and who succeeded anyway, or someone who just made it happen in a way you admire and carry their picture in your wallet, write their name above your computer or name your dog after them.  Perhaps someday I’ll get Eleanor Roosevelt’s face tattooed on my forehead. 

 Decide that you are who you aspire to be.  Rather than waste time worrying that you don’t have what it takes, get yourself educated and put yourself out there.  People will believe what you tell them, they want to believe what you tell them – it’s way easier than making you up themselves!  Present yourself as fabulous, capable, smart and sexy and people will go along for the ride.  Keep in mind that there’s a fine line between procrastination and perfectionism.  Don’t spend your life waiting until things are perfect, get out there, fake it until you make it, and watch it come true.  And knock off self- deprecating humor.  Yes, it can get a laugh, but over time you start to believe it.  Words and thoughts.  Do not underestimate their power.

 Have you ever noticed that when your amazing friends go out and do something amazing, you’re happy for them but never very surprised – of course they did something amazing, they’re my amazing friends.  But to get yourself to see how amazing you are is like pushing a giant marshmallow up a hill.  Yes, there we go.  Ooop!  Almost made it, sagging, we are sagging, gotta go push it up over there….we run around, taking one step forward and two steps back when it’s so unnecessary.  Try seeing yourself instead through your amazing friends’ eyes.  They get it.  They believe in you leaps and bounds beyond what you believe in yourself because they are not riding your back all the time.  Try and look at yourself from the outside, where all your negative thoughts and doubts can’t breathe and behold what shines through.

 Our entire existence on this planet is determined by how we choose to perceive things.  So why, when it comes to perceiving ourselves, would we choose to see anything other than a super huge rockstar of a creature?