Money

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A couple of weeks ago in LA we had a relentless rainstorm, the likes of which I’ve never seen in my 11 years of living here. It rained for what seemed like 40 days and 40 nights, nonstop and hard. Rivers overflowed. Houses slid off hills. Bad hair reigned chaos throughout the most image-conscious city in the world.

This was the kind of rain you didn’t want to be driving around in in anything, let alone a twenty-year old BMW convertible with a leaky roof and a crappy back tire that went flat every three days.

I’d been in the market for a new car for a long time and couldn’t find anything I really loved, but as I sat there in a puddle with a trash bag on my head on my way to the supermarket, it occurred to me that perhaps I should up my search.

I won’t go into the drawn-out decision making process that caused my family and friends to carefully screen their calls, but suffice it to say, it wasn’t pretty. And it took weeks.

I finally whittled it down to 2 choices:

The Honda CRV, a perfectly excellent little car with okay gas mileage, a sunroof, room for friends, comfy ride, ho hum stereo, reasonably fun to drive, decently priced.

and

The Audi Q5, a tear jerker of an automobile, angels sing when you open the door, drives like buttah, leather seats that embrace you with unconditional love, a stereo system designed by God Himself, a sunroof that takes up the entire roof of the car, flashy, expensive, not the Jen Sincero we know.

If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right

I came very close to buying the Honda, but as I sat there, test driving it for the fiftieth time, I couldn’t shake the nagging truth that I was in love with someone else. Buying the Honda would have been doing the sensible thing, while I knew adventure, true love and a whole new way of life awaited me on the other side of my comfort zone.

This comfort zone is what I want to talk about here. Purchasing the Audi made me wake up screaming in the middle of the night because it cost a crapload of money, the kind of crapload I never even considered spending on a car until I made the grave mistake of sitting inside this one.

Here’s the thing:

Have you ever put yourself in a situation that’s outside of your own reality, just to check it out, certainly not to fully participate, only to find yourself completely immersed in it in the not so distant future?

This is because we are drawn to the things we are supposed to be, do or have. While we may think we’re just checking it out on a lark (this is officially the first time I’ve ever used the word “lark” ladies and gentlemen), we are really following our true natures outside of our present, perceived realities into the ones we’re meant to grow into.

For example, if you work at Walmart but spend your free time looking at big fancy houses by the beach or perusing the internet for African Safaris or writing Phd after your name to see how it feels, it’s not wasting time on pipe dreams, it’s possibility showing itself to you. Not everyone is interested in checking out the same things you are – you’re doing it because it speaks to you.

And since you can be do or have anything you want, it’s your decision whether you listen to, and manifest, what’s speaking to you or not.

This is where you must remember the concept: Leap and the net will appear. To grow you have to step into the unfamiliar and trust that you will rise to the occasion.

I almost instantly came up with a plan to pay the Audi off and am certain that if I’d played small and bought the Honda, I’d be struggling to pay for it. 100% certain.

When you uplevel your idea of what’s possible, everything follows suit.

So get out there and scare the shit out of yourself please. You’ll be very very very glad you did.

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I want to pick up where I left off in last week’s post because there are 3, very important things you must do if you’re going to grow out of being who you presently are into the big, beautiful, glorious beast that you long to be.

The crazy part about these 3 things is that while they’re simple, obvious and quick, most people avoid them like the plague in favor of clinging, with determined white knuckles, to their ho-hum lives.

Ready? Behold, the holy trinity to freedom:

1. Listen
2. Believe
3. Act

Listen
Have you ever been about to do something or say something to someone that scares the living crap out of you, and have you ever noticed that if it’s something you were really meant to do, the second the thought enters your head, along with the pantwetting fear comes this massive, exhilarating rush and this teeny tiny voice inside of you that starts screaming youuuuuuu caaaaaaaaaaaan doooooooooo eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

And right before you take the leap, if you pause for even a second, that’s when the negotiations start seeping in, the doubts rear their heads and the justifications of why you can’t and how later really would be better and hey, I think I’m hungry, I wonder if there’s any pizza leftover from last night?

Meanwhile, the only thing you should be listening to is the little voice inside you that knows that this leap is the portal to the other side.

So, to get better acquainted with that voice, practice shutting up. Shut off the crazy squirrels running through your brain, push out all thoughts and just breathe deeply, focus on nothing and listen.

This is what the hippies call Meditation and I swear on my organic hemp hand-woven poncho, doing it for even 10 minutes a day can make you a mighty superhero.

Believe
Changing your belief systems can be a big, long, drawn out drama or a split second decision. Next time you’re about to follow your little, screamy inner cheerleader and doubt creeps up behind her and crams a pillow over her face, make a conscious decision to remove the pillow.

Whatever it is that you’re worried you can’t do, simply decide to believe you can. Even if you don’t believe you can, believe you can anyway. Because your only other option is believing you can’t and where’s the thrill in that?

Practice doing this. You don’t even realize how often you decide you can’t do something before you even start. Pay attention to your thoughts and when they go south simply replace them with mighty ones.

If you need help pulling yourself up, listen to music that rocks your world, talk to a friend that thinks you’re invincible, scream affirmations to yourself or tape quotes all over your house that remind you to be huge. You will look like a giant weirdo, but you’ll get the last laugh when you’re livin the life.

Act
So last week I talked about taking action regardless of what other people think of you. This week I want to talk about doing it regardless of what you think of you.

If your intuition tells you to do something, do not invite your brain into the decision making process. Your brain wants you to side with caution. Your heart wants you to leap to into the unknown.

Take the leaps regardless of the fact that you have no idea where you’re going to land. The more you practice doing this, the bigger you’ll get, the more addicted to the thrill you’ll become, and the easier it’ll get.

When it comes to every pivotal decision I’ve made in my life, there was always a moment when an idea flew into my head and was simultaneously snatched up by fear and faith. In equal parts. I get that little alien kick in the gut informing me it’s game time, and my reaction is always, oh great, now I have to go do that?!

It’s always something terrifying and revealing and waaaay uncomfy, but I know it’s what I should do. For example: I wrote an alarmingly personal book about sex. Became a bestselling author. I spent more money on a life coach than I spent on my car. Tripled my income. The list goes on and on (as I’m sure yours does) and in every case a huge part of me didn’t want to do it, but I knew I had to. And was thrilled I did.

Let’s recap, shall we? Listen to your gut, decide to believe you can, go out and do it. And if you don’t feel like you’re going to puke, you’re doing something wrong.

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MARCH OF THE PENGUINS

Did you ever see that movie, “March of the Penguins?”  It’s a staggering documentary about emperor penguins and what they go through to feed themselves, mate and hatch their young and let me tell you, if you think we have it bad with stock market crashes and rising oil prices and those 20 pounds we can’t seem to lose, try being an emperor penguin for a year and see how quickly you stop whining.

 Try waddling 70 miles through a blizzard with 100 mile an hour winds, on ice, with your ONE egg tucked beneath your belly (where it could roll out and break at any moment), dodging scary, penguin-eating monsters, starvation and exhaustion to your hatching ground where you stand in a huddled mass for weeks, protecting your egg and pooping all over yourself.  And try doing it with wings that don’t fly and NO LEGS!  I don’t know what these creatures did in a past life to warrant such instinctual hell, but it must have been rill bad because seriously, would legs have been too much to ask?  You have to see it to fully appreciate it (I watched the entire thing with my jaw on the ground) but suffice it to say, it lodges that idea in your mind that oh yeah, if you have a clear vision and unshakable focus, you can do anything.

 I bring this up because the number one reason people don’t make the kind of money they want to is because they have some sort of limiting belief that’s stopping them.  We the people, with our big minds and opposing thumbs, can do great things, but unlike other animals, we can also talk ourselves out of creating the miracles we were put here to create.  If those penguins got to make a list of pros and cons, I wonder -  70 miles in sub degree weather with no legs just to have a kid?  Maybe I’ll go to college and see the world first.

 Our minds are our greatest assets and our biggest liabilities. So out of all the 10 tips on this here How To Make More Money list that I’m about to give you, the first tip is indeed Number 1.

 10 Tips For Making More Money:

 1.)  Get Over Yourself.  I read somewhere that if you scooped up all the money in the world and re-distributed it evenly, we’d all eventually wind up where we are now – the rich people would make it all back, the poor would go back to being poor, etc.  This is because making money has more to do with your beliefs and your subconscious than what you actually do.  Luckily there are books aplenty out there to help you figure it out as well as coaches who can help you tweak your subconscious into thinking more profitable thoughts.  A great book I’m currently reading is Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life – it’s like getting a colonic on your subconscious. 

 2.) Borrow Some Experience.  Research other people in the same or similar industries who are super successful and see how they did it.   Look not only at their business models and ideas, but notice their attitude towards themselves and what they’re doing.  If there’s someone out there who really rocks your world, be brave and ask them to be your mentor.  You’d be amazed how many people really like to help (wouldn’t you love to help someone as awesome as yourself once you’ve made it to the top?)

 3.) Do Your Numbers.  Really sit down and map out what you make, what you need to make and what you want to make by when.  Then break it down into what you want to make each week.  If your mind has crystal clear goals to go for, it will get there. 

 4.) Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.  Delegate all the piddly little things (and even some of the bigger ones) and save your focus for the big stuff.  If you’re already delegating, delegate more.  It is essential to pull yourself out of the everyday tasks in order to see the big picture.  You won’t be able to see the forest for the trees (and make it grow) if you’re busy updating your address book.  I know it’s freaky to try and do this when you have “no money,” but it’s essential if you’re going to make real income.  Start small, hire someone on only for an hour a week, and as you start making more, up their hours.

 5.)  Don’t Wait For Perfect.  There’s a fine line between procrastination and perfection.  Even if you’re already somewhat successful, you still have limiting beliefs that are holding you back from being even more successful.  Perfectionism is often a thinly-veiled attempt at not letting ourselves move forward.  Do your best, but don’t be a crazy freak about it because you need to keep moving to grow.

 6.) Get Uncomfy.  Do things that are scary and risky that you may have never done before.  This could mean asking someone really successful for help, opening your second store, taking out a loan, getting investors, launching a new product, rebranding yourself with a whole new image, whatever.  Comfort zones are important for regeneration and energizing, but you can’t blossom there.  The real growth happens when you break out of the egg and come to life.

 7.) Make Passive Income.  Figure out ways that you can stop trading dollars for hours.  This can come in the form of publishing a book, selling products, making smart investments, buying rental properties, licensing a patent, selling ads on your website – look at what you have already set up and see how you can use it to make money while you sleep.

 8.) Hang High.  Hang out with people who are doing better than you are.  We all have our comfy, awesome friends who love and support us, but in order to really challenge ourselves and grow we need to up the stakes.  If you aren’t already, make a point to surround yourself with people who are living the kinds of lives you want to be living.  It will provide you with connections, inspiration and get you used to thinking big as a way of life.  They should be awesome and supportive too, by the way, but not as comfy – we need to keep you on your toes here.

 9.)  Hire Smart People.  I’ve interviewed lots of successful entrepreneurs and the piece of advice that I find most repeated is to hire people that know how to do the things you don’t.  Get people in there who are smarter than you who can easily do the part of the job that makes you pull your hair out.  So often we hire people who are like ourselves because it’s more fun/we can control them/etc. You’re running a business, not a sorority, so put your ego aside and let someone who knows what they’re doing take the beast out of your hands.

 10.) Love What You Do.  Yes, you can make money doing lots of things, but at the end of the day (and at the end of your life) it won’t be worth it if you’ve been miserable the whole time.  You’ll also be more inspired to work hard if you do something you love and your energy will attract people and opportunities to you.

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It's time to take the next step

There’s an amazing quote that says:  “Everything you want out of life lies on the other side of your comfort zone.”  Another amazing quote reads:  “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  Then there’s the all too true: “Ass, grass or cash, nobody rides for free.”  The first is rumored to be none other than Jennifer Aniston.  The second was the glorious Anais Nin.  The third I read off a beer cozy at a truck stop.  I bring them up to illustrate that no matter who you are, where you are in your life or what kind of hog you ride, in order to grow you must experience a certain amount of “discomfort.”  And before we get too excited about the pity party we now get to throw for ourselves, I want to stop and look at the word “comfort.”

According to dictionary.com, “Comfort = a state of ease and satisfaction of bodily wants, with freedom from pain and anxiety.”

Yet how does wasting away in our own comfort zones, our own personal versions of utter mediocrity, fit this definition?  How is charging less than we’re worth or not asking someone out or not growing our businesses comfortable?  I believe that words are incredibly powerful, and I think it’s essential we redefine this if we’re ever going to crawl our way out of it.  When we’re talking about inertia and playing small, we’re not talking about our comfort zone.  We’re talking about our familiarity zone.

Comfort is big fluffy pillows, high thread counts and a head massage.  There’s nothing comfortable about lying there so long you get bedsores, but we’ll do it because it beats heading off into the unknown.  Or so we think.

The key to growth is acknowledging your fear of the unknown and jumping in anyway.

Because our thoughts and perceptions define our realities, you need to redefine the way you perceive the unknown.  Start thinking of it as exciting, exhilarating, something to throw yourself into and conquer.  We’ve all done it at some point in our lives – how much better and more alive does that feel than worrying away on the couch eating a plate of mashed potatoes?

Will they run from you if you start charging twice what you do now?  Who knows.  Will you lose everything you’ve got if you open your own restaurant?  Who knows.  Will unleashing your secret desire to teach tap dancing ruin your reputation as a professional wrestler?  Who knows.  And who cares?  Unless your unknown puts you at risk of death, prison or bodily harm, you have nothing to lose except living a dull, uninspired life.

At this particular time in history, the familiar is crumbling around us – we are literally being forced to grow and rebuild ourselves.  We have never been in such times of uncertainty and change, and we can either crawl around on the floor, desperately searching for crumbs of what used to be or throw ourselves into what’s next like giddy little idiots.  Life is an attitude and we are being given the ultimate opportunity to rise to the occasion.  Pick the one thing that you’ve really been putting off, that seems to big or too scary or too whatever and do it this week.  You might be very pleasantly surprised.

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Send Out The Right Energy and The Rest Will Follow

I used to know this lady who helped people get their businesses off the ground.  She’d do their books, hire staff, take care of marketing and advertising, stand in the middle of traffic with a sandwich board strapped to her chest – whatever it took to get her clients where they needed to be. 

I met her when she came to one of my groups for women entrepreneurs and here’s how it went: 

ME:  Alrighty, so Sarah, tell us what it is that you want and how we can help you? 

SARAH:  I want to figure out how to grow my business and get new and better clients. 

SARAH’S SUBCONSCIOUS:  Kill me now.  Please. 

ME:  Great.  So tell me what it is exactly that you do. 

SARAH:  I put together my clients’ websites, do their books, create their brand…. 

SARAH’S SUBCONSCIOUS: Is it hot in here?  Who’s stepping on my throat? I think I’m going blind! 

When she spoke, Sarah’s body was slumped over and heavy, as if waiting for the firing squad to do its thing.  But when I asked her what she did on the side for fun, she explained that she loved photography and she suddenly sat up straight, her eyes perked up and bluebirds flew out of her mouth.  She was like a different person and everybody in the room noticed.  

After four weeks of workshopping her career in our group, Sarah had completely dumped her business and had 2 jobs lined up with 2 different magazines to shoot their COVERS.  She is now a full time successful photographer. 

When you’re in line with what you’re supposed to be doing, you are an unstoppable freight train because you are sending out a particular energy to the world that says “come hither”. 

When you’re hating what you’re doing and faking it, you’re walking around with a dead horse strapped to your ankle.  As well as to your energy.  

The energy that you send out to the world determines what the world sends back. It works in all areas of life, such as: 

1.) Your Bank Account. Most people wish they made more money, but instead of working on their energy around money, they work themselves into the ground, whine about never having enough, worry, cut back, etc. 

Making money has much more to do with how you think and the energy you send out than what you actually DO.  For example, I bet there are people in the world who do exactly what you do who are making six times as much.  And I bet they’re no smarter than you are (maybe even way dumber).  AND I also bet they have much better energy around money. 

So how do you get better energy around money?  An excellent place to start is by reading Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill.  It’s available on the internet for FREE so just google it and download yourself a copy.  It is so monumental I can’t even stand it.  Read it 3 or 4 times and then get back to me. 

2.) Your Love Life.  If your relationship is either non-existent or lousy, your energy around intimacy probably has everything to do with it.  You can get all gussied up and paint a sexy smile on your face, but if your energy is saying, “Gee, I wonder how long it’ll take you to hurt me,” or “I’m worthless so I deserve someone who’s going to treat me like poo,” or “let me take care of you you big beautiful mess,” etc.  you will get exactly what you’re looking for.  Want to work on your energy de amore?  I took a seminar from the fine people at PAX and can’t recommend it enough:

For the ladies: Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women

For the Gents: Understanding Women 

3.) Your Career.   Whatever you do for money, there are aspects of it that drive you nuts.   For example, a lot of people hate making sales calls and sending out emails so….if you’re picking up the phone and thinking “frikken sales calls I’d rather slam my hand in a car door,” no matter how syrupy sweet your voice is, people can sense what you’re really feeling and you probably aren’t making the kind of sales you’d like. 

So before picking up the phone or writing an email, get some joy in your heart and tap into the deep inner reason why you’re really doing what your doing.  Come from a place of “how can I help” not “give me your money, fool” and see how things change.   

4.) Your Quality of Life.  Are you living in the space you’ve always dreamed of?  Are you surrounded by the kinds of people who inspire you, feed your brain and drop you to the floor laughing?  Are you sipping cocktails poolside on the vacation of your dreams?  If not, you need to check beyond your bank account to your energy. 

Are you clear about what you want?  Can you feel it in your body, not just see it in your head?  A good way to do this is to sit down and write a clear list of exactly what you want OR find pictures in magazines, cut them out and put them on a board.  You then need to look at your list or your board every day and FEEL what it’s like to have these things in your body, really be there with your feelings and energy and things will start to shift.  

Think about it – before we’re born and after we die we are just energy.   Our existence in this physical world is one thing, but there’s much  more out there than what’s delivered to us by our 5 senses.  In order to really live a humdinger of a life, you must combine the physical with the energetic and tap into all the resources that are out there to help you.  They are there, you just have to invite them in.

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